A Long Goodbye

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For the past few months I had the sweet, profound and oh so sad Holy honour to join in a long goodbye that ended on Tuesday as friends and family gathered to celebrate the life of one we have known and loved.


After a few years of living with cancer, it became apparent that the tide had turned. And as it would return to the sea, it would be taking our friend along. 


While we can predict with accuracy when the tide will retreat, when someone dies that moment of retreat is not so predictable. Even as death is marked by a particular moment in time on the clock, the retreat may happen slowly as it did with my friend.


I’ve been pondering the many blessings my friend offered in that long goodbye. 


When life can often distract us from the inevitability of endings, the gift of a long goodbye gave time to consider my own mortality and what comes next.


The gift of a long goodbye gave time for family to experience the gift of nursing in the twilight hours.  


The gift of a long goodbye gave time for family to experience the mystery that even in the longest night there is light and laughter. 


The gift of a long goodby gave time for those close to her to find the words to say what was in their heart; to express their depth of appreciation and affection. How important she was in their lives. How she blessed their lives. To share the many lessons learned from having known her. 


As the time drew closer, when the signals of the ending arrived, the urgency increased and people who were once silent found their voice. Those who struggled with what to say wrote the most amazing love letters to her and her family. Each word a blessing, soothing broken hearts. 


If there is a lesson to be learned - and there is always a lesson - might we take the time to write our love letters to those we appreciate? 


Might I take the risk to offer kind words, to let go of whatever fear may hold me back. Can I use the gift of time to let someone know how important they are in my life? 


How about you?


Then, can we take the risk to open our hearts and receive kind words. To let go of instincts to diminish words of gratitude. Even if deep inside you believe there are a hundred more things you might have done if given adequate time and resources. 


Might this upcoming Valentine’s Day be a time to pick up our phones or laptops, or pen and paper and text, email or write a few love letters to those in our circles? 

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2023 at 9:12 AM

    Profound and thought provoking.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2023 at 9:21 AM

    Thanks for this ❤

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2023 at 9:29 AM

    Well said Elizabeth. Had this with my Sister-in-law who passed away in March.
    Marg A.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thoughts from Chickadee LaneFebruary 10, 2023 at 3:18 PM

      Thank you Marg. A long goodbye is often a common experience.

      Delete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2023 at 9:42 AM

    Much appreciated and stirs me to act.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2023 at 10:25 AM

    Thank You for sharing this ❤️. So comforting and inspiring. Certainly a new wonderful perception of the end of one’s life..Love your Encouraging words that truly hits the heart of a person….Me for sure. 🙏💝

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thoughts from Chickadee LaneFebruary 10, 2023 at 3:20 PM

      You are most welcome. Thank you for sharing your comments. So glad to know these words touch the heart of another.

      Delete
  6. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2023 at 10:26 AM

    JudyFriars. Email is judyfriars @icloud .com.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thoughts from Chickadee LaneFebruary 10, 2023 at 3:15 PM

      Thank you Judy I will check what address I have in contacts.

      Delete
  7. TracyFebruary 10, 2023 at 12:20 PM

    Thank you for this wisdom Elizabeth. The “long goodbye” enables us to not have regrets as we speak and share the love that fills our hearts. But you are so right; sharing that love now, in the moment, is truly a gift to the giver and receiver. 💕

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thoughts from Chickadee LaneFebruary 10, 2023 at 3:16 PM

      You are most welcome. Thank you for your comments. Always appreciated.

      Delete
  8. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2023 at 12:52 PM

    Beautifully said, and a good reminder, thank you.
    Wendy b

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2023 at 2:09 PM

    Wonderfully said.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thoughts from Chickadee LaneFebruary 10, 2023 at 3:22 PM

    Elizabeth here. I would love to know who is commenting. If you are comfortable please leave your name. First name and initial will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2023 at 8:10 AM

    So beautifully expressed and a great lesson for all of us. I experienced this first hand with my mom and as hard as it was, it gave us all time to express our love and say our goodbyes.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2023 at 9:28 AM

    Elizabeth you give us much to think about in your blogs. You are a blessing. Thank you. Joan S

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2023 at 9:40 AM

    What a wonderful lesson you have shown us. How true and how special.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hilda G.February 11, 2023 at 10:44 AM

    Beautiful!!I am one who always will wonder if I could have done more to help.❤️

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2023 at 12:33 PM

    You did it again……love your comments! Thank you for all you do and I MEAN ALL. Joyce M

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2023 at 12:30 PM

    Wonderfully said - the world would be a much greater place if all could just let things go and speak from our hearts Wendy H

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousFebruary 16, 2023 at 7:05 AM

    Stirring, beautiful, and how I miss listening to your words at the pulpit. Thank you for this wonderful reminder of how we can enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. Cheryl M

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousMarch 31, 2023 at 9:18 AM

    marilyn.parish@icloud.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. Terry SDecember 15, 2023 at 10:31 AM

    Elizabeth, I re -read the above from time to time which reminds to be forever thankful for all family and friends who "shared in the long good by"

    ReplyDelete

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