Bitterness be Gone

After two days of rain, ice pellets, snow, freezing rain, and more ice pellets it was wonderful to see the sun yesterday. With the sun shining, the air crisp, it made for a delightful morning walk.

So we did. A friend and I went for a winter walk along the twisted country road. It is worth noting that walking along the road where I live is not for the faint of heart. The road is narrow, the hills steep and the traffic fast. 

We chatted about a woman we never met in person, yet is made known through story and how her values are reflected in the way her family live their lives. 

This ‘mother of ten,’ who raised most of her children as a single mother, was known to often repeat these words from Mark Twain as her life motto: “Bitterness (acid) does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than on that of which it is poured.”

“Now there’s a blog for you,” said my friend. 

So here we are. 

It is worth repeating: 

“Bitterness does more harm 

to the vessel in which it is stored 

than on that of which it is poured.”

I thought about that motto. I like it. It is not slick. It does not easily flow off the tongue... at least not for the first few readings. You have to slow down and ponder the meaning. 

I thought about the times in my life when it is easier to be bitter than let go. Like Mark Twain, I occasionally “cherish an unappeased bitterness.” It is tempting to pick away at a hurt. To pick away at it, like a scab, rather than letting the wound heal naturally. 

The 'woman we never met' is now deceased. This past year her family have been walking, at times stumbling, falling and getting back up again, through the valley of death. As I and many others stumble along with them, the amazing thing that accompanies them and us is a spirit of gratitude. Despite the deep sorrow, there abides a deep gratitude for all that was and is. Tears and laughter are often companions along the roller coaster of emotions.  

“Why me?” is not the question. 

“How did I get here?” or “What next?” may be the questions. Along with echoes of scripture, “Take this cup from me.” 

As life unfolds, bitterness is not a part of the journey. Deep sadness yes. Not bitterness. 

Gratitude reigns. 

Gratitude for a medical staff who do their very best in this very difficult time. Gratitude for family who never stop loving. Gratitude for friends who never stop caring. Gratitude for the ability to be present with one another. Gratitude for another moment.

It would be so easy to be bitter. To find blame with someone or something. Yet this family does not go down that path. 

So thank you to 'the woman we never met in person,' this influencer, for your ancient wisdom. Among the many teachings you have instilled in your family, your motto legacy of “Bitterness does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than on that of which it is poured,” offers wisdom and strength for generations including those who live in the shadow of your life. 

Dear reader, may it be so for you and for me. 

Photo: Kingston Creek at sunrise.